"But Sometimes I Think Of You, I'm Still Fucking Sad."

Thirty-five year old writer

Sir:

When you are young and energetic, you say you want to beat time with words, you say you owe God ten novels.

Before you were thirty-five years old, you spent all your time in toilet, car, plane, after meeting, after drinking and trivia, and finished four novels.

The four novels you wrote are reprinted after they are published. In 2015, booksellers came up with a new set of versions, so that I could write the four novels at the age of thirty-five when I was forty-three years old.

I recall the writing at that time and recall the writer at that time.

"Joyful" started in 1987 or around 1989. From the age point of view, it is sixteen to eighteen years old.

At that time, I wrote and had no intention. Now I want to come, there are three reasons.

First, leisure.

87 years of junior high school graduation, sent to high school, a summer vacation, doing nothing.

In the summer of eight or nine, people went to the square. You didn't mix up things you didn't understand, so they stayed in the classroom and ended up with joy.

Second, have a heart.

One is the difference mind.

Your mind seems to grow late, and it has always been lacking in difference in the world.

The recording function can be recorded in English, and it is controlled by hundreds of pieces of Panasonic or dozens of school run larks.

Girls are eighteen years old. Where are ugly women? They wash their faces and hair as beautiful as grass.

But at the age of fourteen or five, the heart changed.

Hundreds of Nike shoes are much more handsome than the plain cloth shoes of several yuan.

The faces of individual girls are like the moon, always shaking in human dreams.

The two is curiosity.

I wonder how these differences are produced, whether they are stupid or not, and how they end.

Third, there is corruption.

Several hundred meters in the school run into twelve seconds, you run the strength of escape for fifteen seconds.

You know very early that you can only eat with your heart.

The two kinds of mental meals require the least external conditions. One pen and a stack of paper will suffice. One is mathematics, the other is literature.

But mathematics has no Nobel prize, literature has.

When you were young, you wanted to "literature."

So, you wrote about youth's joy in adolescence.

Look again, though it is very strong, but one hundred percent is true, especially the way it looks.

Perhaps only at that age can there be real joy.

The first edition of "everything grows" was published at the end of two. By the end of two, eight editions (including French version) had been published, and the two 15 edition was ninth editions.

When the first edition of the book was handed to you, you were less than thirty years old, and thought innocently, "is my blood exhaustion, writing so hard?"

Father and mother gave good genes, drunk, slept for three days, and began laughing for eighty hours a week.

You also want to say, "should I be famous all over the world?"

On the second day of publication, I went to the Sanlian bookstore near the art gallery to see the list.

"

You inspire yourself with all the famous quotes that you remember, such as "gold is always shining" and so on. The result is distracted, and the cell phone is lost in the taxi home.

Then you think, "can I devote myself to socialist construction?"

In the following years, eighty hours a week devoted to socialist construction, you wrote the preface of "everything grows", "give me a girl at eighteen years old" and "post - pass".

Beijing, "you feel your heart, it seems that the swelling has not yet disappeared.

"Give me a girl at eighteen," about 85 to nine years in Beijing, some young people from fourteen to nineteen years old.

At that time, the three ring road was still used for building, and there were no bars in Sanlitun.

At that time, there were fewer external swallowing time and less animosity. The Internet and cell phones hardly existed in daily life. The computer room had to change slippers to get in. People with similar age earned similar money.

At that time, a runny nose was quite old, and the days needed to work and earn money never seemed to come.

The body is developing at high speed, dreaming at night, the frequency of chicken hard is rising obviously, and under the moonlight, the heart is in a daze.

In this internal and external environment, people are easy to channeling.

The two most impressive moments.

One moment is: in the early summer afternoon, the sun will fall, sitting on the brick side of the playground. A novel will turn from silver white to golden yellow. A girl is coming from the West. The white dress is golden and pparent, and the wind turns half of the leaves of the poplar tree into gold, white and dazzling.

Another moment is: in the late autumn evening, the leaves are almost the same. Just after running one thousand and five hundred meters, four people sit on the horse's side of the road in Sanlitun. One bottle of beer and one drink, for a while, pointing out the special ugly men and the particularly nice looking girls in the street, wondering what bed these beautiful girls are sleeping at night. The first edition of the novel is two three years.

After the publication, he made the first signing in Shanghai Bookmall.

Among the four readers, one of them was a white skirt. She sent a big white rose to her. The flowers were bigger than her.

These four readers and a handful of flowers have strengthened your literary ideal and changed your view of Shanghai girls.

Since then, you have been grateful.

No matter from the time of writing, the time of publication or the time of the story, "Beijing, Beijing" is the last part of the Beijing trilogy.

This part is about delusion.

The generation, performance, treatment and result of delusion.

I later defined the concept of delusion: "if you have an expectation, you can't linger for years, and you need others to satisfy you, this expectation is a delusion."

The story is between 1995 and two, and the young people are between 24 to thirty years old.

At that time, the Concord Medical College, which was all day long between Dongdan and Wangfujing, saw all kinds of people's life, illness and death all day long, and their own delusions, such as boundless weeds. All day long, what kind of thing is a fuck?

Youth is broken, and virgin is no longer. There are three main problems that come from the wrong mind: first, what are we doing? What do we do to pay for the pouch and how to find a place to settle down? Two. Who can sleep? Who can sleep on the strings of my heart? Why do I sleep in the same place? Who are you willing to be willing to sleep? Where do you want to go? Where do you want to go? China, the United States? Go to the United States first, then come back? Beijing? Shanghai? Hongkong? At that time, the answer you gave is: Ningshi is in business, and the woman who likes to pick fault with me is the first to go to the United States, then go back to the United States and go back to Beijing.

After the age of thirty-five, after these four novels, I wrote two novels.

The swelling of young youthful spirit seems to be gone, and it seems to exist in another space in another form. It is so miserable that when it is drunk, it will come out spontaneously and let me wake up in my sleep and hear someone sing, "things have gone for a long time, and there is nothing to say, but sometimes I think of you or I am really sad."

Feng Tang, who is almost forty-four years old.